By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

What does Christ want of me ... and what does man want of me?
The latter doesn't matter in the end; so I'm going to leave him out and already I am given better clarity.
Christ is undauntingly, unflinchingly, eternally invested in me.
Sordid thoughts, private deeds, unkind words, unfaithful acts ... not a single one could be brought to His attention that He does not already know.
Yes and No.
I wonder to myself, with this knowledge, why it doesn't prevent me from being who I am when I am being my very worst.
I wonder why I can forget about the presence of God but remain very mindful of the presence of man.
I wonder why habits can't be kicked, addictions licked, and holiness doesn't stick for longer than two minutes in me at times.
Maybe someone else wonders these things too.
God doesn't need me to play down my faults,
Pretend to be somebody I'm not,
Be what I think I should be,
But know that I can't ... as I ought.
Blast and bugger on all my attempts to produce something from all this mess called "me."
But holy hallelujah for all God does when I show up as "that" me.
Lord, help me to be just a little more real today ... a little more true and unpretentious. Deep down inside of me I hear You "daring me" to be a little more "me" so that You can appear a little more "You" through me.
Cause to cease, this unrelenting human desire for applause, admiration, and approval from men. Display Your power through my broken raw self ... and help another to discover that true worth and identity is found only in You.
For the worst of me and the whole of me;
I give thanks for the blood that was shed for me.
It will always be enough.
I love you, Lord.
"That according as it is written, 
He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord."
1 Corinthians 1:31