NOSE RING

  NOSE RING

By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

It's curious the way that we evolve and change with time;
a reminder of this reality lies in a beautiful story about the nose ring.
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Realities you must first know of me.
My early life was saturated with rules:
Movie theaters. Playing cards. Dancing. Drinking. Smoking. Drugs. Tattoos. Dating.
All of these normal and healthy curiosities common to youth and vital for self-discovery, learning, and growth were declared sinful by conservative Baptists of which my family belonged.
Never mind that my life was littered with enough abuse and scandal to write a novel by the time I was sixteen ... or that the indecencies cloaked in religiosity, so early forced upon me, seemed almost sanctioned by Christ Himself, the cross above, and the beckoning baptismal I was plunged in.
Hmmm ...
Religion is a horrific trauma to be endured,
a sin to be confessed,
a thing to be addressed.
Religion is a most formidable vehicle productive only in leading us into true relationship with Jesus Christ.
Nothing more.
All praise be to Him for His infinate grace and His supernatural ability in imposing Himself marvelously into the dead, dastardly thing called religion.
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Progressing to adulthood with an extraordinary enlistment of counselors, needful resources, and seasoned individuals too many to count, my soul found healing, help, and compassion.
I grew. I learned. I loved. I thrived.
Became a wife, mother, teacher, lover of God and lover of people in a wide variety of contexts and arenas. I loved the congruity and safety of home and family and more than anything, I loved God's pursuit of me.
I have questioned many things in life ...
but never this.
God's glorious hand rests heavy upon me.
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All this to say that a few notable fear factors prevented me from encouraging my own children to explore and enjoy their youth in all of its experiences without fear of reprisal.
Here, I feel ... I failed.
I wish I'd done better.
Too many times, like many of you, I sided with rules instead of relationship and we all lost out. And other times I did marvelously and beautifully and we all gained,
 and for this I am thankful.
But the great beauty in life and love, my friend, doesn't lie in the past,
but in the present and what we do with our today.
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Relationships continue to evolve and so does the joy of giving myself to my kids and grandkids without reserve; allowing them to see the changes and growth in my soul and sharing a life filled with intoxicating joy, rawness, compassion, love, and healing.
We are bettered as we grow in relationship with Christ and one another.
We become more real.
And on the flip side ... we are made lesser if we're governed by the rules and dictates of religion.
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My adult children and grandchildren continue to grow and expand in life with me and I find "aging" a very child-like, beautiful, and youthful experience;
a gift and extraordinary grace I can't adaquately compose in words.
So now my friend ...
 perhaps you'll better understand my enjoyment in fulfilling my daughter's desire for a nose ring upon my time with her in Arizona:
 +Why I so thoroughly engaged myself in her experience.
+Why I enjoyed seeing the silver needle thread it's way through my daughter's perfect little nose.
+ Why I enjoyed with such delight, the silver studded tiny gleam of a diamond adorning my daughter's beautiful face.
+Why I enjoyed picking up the tab.
I'm learning and I'm loving at deeper levels.
This matters to me,
and life is beautiful ...
I see life, love, and growth in the beauty of a nose ring.
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