Out with a...fizzle

If you know me, you know I'm a perfectionist. 

I like things done, done right, done now. 

Partially completed, done late, done wrong - I just can't get behind it.

Yet here I am, at the end of November, hardly having completed 1/2 the Proverbs for this month.

The truth - I'm exhausted. Running on empty. Overwhelmed.

School is a lot of work. Constant demands, lesson planning, paperwork, parent contacts, grades....there is always more that could be done and should be done.

This month I have been so thankful that I am young and healthy and childless and married to a very supportive man who doesn't mind doing the cooking.

So as much as my partially completed Proverbs journey bothers the perfectionist part of me, for my own sanity I have to let it go. It wasn't perfect. It was incomplete. It wasn't my best work.

But it was good.

There were days I didn't write, but I still read. And that is good.

There were days I didn't feel inspired but I sat and prayed for some sort of divine whisper and I received it. And I needed that.

So here, on the last day of November, I wrap up the Proverbs journey. One day perhaps I'll try again, and I'll actually deliver in a more whole and perfect way, but until then, I'm thankful for the little piece I was able to enjoy.

Proverbs 30:7-9

7 Two things I ask of you;

deny them not to me before I die:

8  Remove far from me falsehood and lying;

give me neither poverty nor riches;

feed me with the food that is needful for me,

9  lest I be full and deny you

and say, “Who is the Lord?”

or lest I be poor and steal

and profane the name of my God."

 

Lord, I pray that I would be satisfied with that which "is needful for me", and that I will never seek a fullness, completeness, or sense of perfection that would lead me to believe that I alone am enough. Remind me through my brokenness that you are whole, through my missteps that your path is perfect, and through my failings that you alone are perfect, and that you hold me in your hand. 

AMEN