WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW THEN

WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW THEN
By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

I find myself better helped by acknowledgment of an individual's failures than his successes.
I find myself more encouraged by the honesty of an individual's weaknesses than his strengths.
I find myself empowered, enlightened, and most thoroughly engaged by individuals who dare to sound off with their imperfections and humilities while remaining confident, fixed, and ardent in their sure position and title with Christ.
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The years of teaching the Scripture have come to a close for me.
I am now in the season of living them,
Activating them,
And realizing and appropriating them.
The two are notably different.
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I am ashamed of what I didn't know then that I do know now.
I am embarrassed by verbal assertions made long ago without the Spirit's assertion and demonstration alive, living, and activated outside of that knowledge.
 The truth about me, dear reader, is that I understood the "mechanics" of the organized institution called the church better than I understood the mission and ministry of the love of Christ.
I uttered words and truths with my lips without living out the power of my risen Christ and I feel I did Christ a great injustice.
Still ... He remains mercifully, magnificently, and mysteriously at work within me.
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 Religion, I am learning, translates into lifeless doctrine, tradition, and condemnation;
It leads to pride, position, and arrogant posturing.
Relationship translates into compassion, sure position, and fervent love;
It leads to brokenness, truthfulness, and beauty.
Strangely and surprisingly, it is my sordid, confessed realities and experiences which have afforded me the truth about what God has told me in His word ... and my life is so very different than it was years ago.
Confession of sin, I am convinced, is the place where God harbors Himself and where true life begins ... for all of us.
Life has not been easy but God has been good.
Life has not been without struggle but God has been faithful.
"Learned" knowledge is valuable but incomparable to experiential applied grace.
Truly, of the mysteries of God there is no end.
The development of faith rests on applied grace and nothing more.
We are ridiculous in our varied attempts to display a supernatural power that doesn't exist apart from God at work in our broken lives.
We exist to assist Him with our weaknesses;
 this is all we truly have to offer Him.
When we come to terms with this reality,
He reveals Himself readily.
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Dear reader, do not underestimate your present trials, crisis, conflicts, tests, and weaknesses.
Don't hide them, deny them, or repress them;
They are the thing God wants to use for His glory and another's growth and good.
Put them out in the open and ask God to display Himself through them so that others are directed appropriately and encouragingly to the throne of grace.
You will find me there beside you.
Praise God ...
Amen.
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"O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! For who hath known the mind of the Lord? Or who hath been His counselor?"
Romans 11:33-34