By: Darrelyn L. Tutt 

    The desert spadefoot toad is among the most amazing of the desert animals. It lives in desert areas where ponds of water form. As the pond dries up, the toad buries itself in the soil beneath the pond, digging burrows from three to seven feet. They can remain in hibernation for several years if necessary. When the pond fills again with water, the toads emerge, and the males begin their incessant coarse croak to attract a mate. After mating, the female deposits one to two thousand fertilized eggs in the pond. The tadpoles emerge within five days or so. The tadpoles transform into toads within a few days, and the life cycle begins again.
    Excerpt from LAZY B
    By: Sandra Day O’Conner and H. Alan Day

    Spadefoot toad and habits;
    Live in dry desert areas.
    Dig burrows three to seven feet in soul.
    Forget they exist.
    Remain in hibernation…
    For several years
    Pond fills with water;
    Life progresses.
    Glorious rain!
    Thankful, grateful, mindful. 
    Simultaneous activity:
    something old with something new…
    Old habits
     Emerging, mingling, mating.
    Incessant croaking.
    Til death do us part.
    Miserable and wretched
    Do habits ever die…
    or just lie
    One to two thousand fertilized eggs sprouting.
    The seed of habit 
    Discouraging, disheartening, multiplying.
    Tadpoles emerging.
    The life cycle of a habit.
    Yearn for resurrected power…
    Burrowed deeper than bad habits.
    For grace to sustain,
    incessant croaking.
    For mercy to outlive,
    patterns, strains, sins.
    O God forgive;
    this hidden life…
    called habit.
    “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
    the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
    who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort we ourselves are comforted by God.”
    2 Corinthians 1:3-4


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    You could have heard a pin drop,
    When I walked into the room;
    As voices stilled the air was filled,
    Instead by my perfume.

    Conscious of the awkward glares,
    And whispers I could hear;
    I knew I didn’t deserve to be,
    Beside a man so pure.

    Yet here I was … right at His feet,
    An overwhelming awe;
    Replaced my fears as silent tears,
    Fell on the feet of God.

    I kissed His feet, and then I wept,
    And wiped them with my hair;
    Oh grace divine… that knew my kind,
    Yet let me linger there.

    And with an alabaster jar,
    Of oil and perfume;
    I lavished all I had on Him,
    Until it filled the room.

    Then looking up in Jesus’ face,
    It seemed that time was stilled;
    For something deep within my soul,
    That hungered … had been filled.

    He was Jesus, I the harlot,
    In one moment He defined,
    Grace to me, a scarlet sinner,
    Love to fill a heart like mine.

    Mercy given to the hungry,
    Love that pierces to the soul;
    There is pardon for the sinner,
    There is grace to make us whole.
    “And behold, a woman in the city, who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil; and stood at His feet behind Him weeping, and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil….
    Therefore I say to you, her sins which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.
    But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”
    Luke 7:37-38,47


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    Beloved quarter horse,
    Full of life.
    White stockings,
    White star.
    Study close.
    See scars;
    Etched, permanent, deep.
    Barbed-wire rips in flesh,
    Embossed between legs.
    Star’s scars.
    Early entanglement.
    Skittish Star.
    Sun shining,
    Star saddled.
    Riding day.
    Starts aright; goes awry.
    Wind through barbed-wire…
    Too close;
    Too familiar.
    Star …… remembers.
    Star spooked;
    Frantic, fearful, frenzied.
    Fast, faster …..
    Solo Star.
    Strewn rider.
    Unscathed, shaken; rattled.
    Wanting Star’s return.
    Running, running, running….
    Rider reaches….
    Hands touch.
    Eyes settle.
    Voice soothes.
    Star settles.
    Horse and rider,
    Star in us.
    Scars within.
    Sordid secrets;
    Sorrows etched into soul.
    Embossed in flesh.
    The mind remembers…
    Wind blows.
    Wire too close; familiar.

    Running, running… far from home.
    God knows …
    the scars.
    He knows
    the child.
    The rips, the reasons, the wrongs.
    He rescues.
    Receives the scars … His own.
    The hands held nails,
    The body beaten,
    Sin’s sorrows
    Etched into sinless, holy skin.
    Love holding fast.
    The Savior knows.
    Faithful Father,
    Hands touch,
    Eyes settle,
    Voice soothes,
    Child settles.
    Solace for sorrow;
    Strength for tomorrow.
    The Father is faithful…
    “The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying,
    ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love;
    therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.’”
    Jeremiah 31:3


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    The condition of the blessing,
    Comes in various disguise;
    Often overlooked,
    And very rarely recognized.

    We see a difficulty,
    As a problem to be rid;
    We see a certain struggle,
    And we want it better hid.

    To recognize a truth,
    Within the thing we try and hide;
    Accompanies the person,
    Growing character inside.

    Acknowledging potential,
    In whatever sort of form;
    Certain of the promise,
    That it all will be conformed.

    Likened unto Jesus,
    In its most unsightly state;
    Trusting in the knowledge,
    He alone can recreate:

    A miracle; a wonder,
    Through condition so despised;
    O blessed transformation,
    In the blessing …. so disguised.

    “And whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate
    to be conformed to the image of His Son…”
    Romans 8:29a


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    On my walk.
    Exploring new route;
    Adding distance; new landscape.
    Pass through unfamiliar area.
    Two of them,
    Coming suddenly:

    Wild barks…
    Woman yelling.
    Stiff movement, heart exploding.
    Head down, keep walking…..
    Scared senseless.
    Feet away… lunging, plunging;
    Kept in check!
    Invisible leash and collar.
    Strained, maxed, tried.
    Breathing intense; uncontrollable shaking.
    Angry dogs; apologetic owner; frightened walker.
    Scene complete.
    Strange, untimely, undefined moment….
    God speaks:
    “And the Lord said, ‘Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.’”
    Luke 22:31-32

    Satan attacks God's child,
    Similar fashion:
    Lunging, plunging, roaming.

    “Be sober, vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.
    Whom resist steadfast in the faith…”
    1 Peter 1:8-9a

    Satan sneaks, strikes, steals,
    Strategically attempts to destroy.
    Seeks a stronghold to ensnare
    the child of God.
    Mentally, emotionally, physically, relationally, financially, spiritually.
    Relentlessly Satan encircles and pursues.
    But God is greater…
    More than able,
    Omniscient, Sufficient, and Merciful.
    God’s hold secure.
    Satan’s attempts stopped;
    Evil on a leash.
    God’s child …. safe.
    His promise:
    “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them and they follow Me. And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand. My Father, which gave them Me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of My Father’s hand.”
    John 10:27-29

    My gait slows,
    Grace overflows
    Tears on my face.
    God’s mercy applied;
    Truth supplied.
    Satan’s devices employed in my life, relentless.
    Evil on a leash....
    But the hand that holds ... so able!
    “But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail.
    And when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren."
    Christ, my sufficiency; interceding for me.
    Interceding for you.
    Encourage one another with hopeful message!
    Satan keeps stalking;
    Child keeps walking;
    God keeps talking.
    He holds the leash;
    Who holds the child…..
    His hand is able and secure.
    “For I am persuaded , that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come;
    Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
    Romans 8:38-39


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    Oh the burden of my past,
    A life so deeply flawed;
    I looked through trial’s lens and missed,
    The greater work of God.

    Blinded to the mighty hand,
    Of providence behind;
    The shadows and the wreckage,
    That resided in my mind.

    But oh….how I was proven wrong,
    And God has shown me well;
    What He will do within the heart,
    That man can never tell.

    He’s taken me from miry clay,
    And set me on a rock;
    And placed me in a pasture,
    Where I dwell within His flock.

    For God selects and chooses,
    In deliberated plan;
    The lowly and the branded,
    And the frailty of man.

    That He would be acknowledged,
    In His mercy and His might;
    That He, alone, can alter,
    Hearts of sin….and make them right.

    I rest in this assurance,
    Though my heart be deeply flawed;
    I bear a testimony to ….
    The matchless grace of God.

    “But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not,
    to bring to nothing the things that are,
    that no flesh should glory in His presence.”
    1 Corinthians 1:27-29


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    Out for lengthy walk.
    Fall's fingerprints transforming earth's surround.
    Breathe deeply; cold air, invigorating.
    Sound of a child.
    Head turns.
    A front row seat. 
    An uninvited guest.
    Hidden under leafy canopy;
    Invisible, across the street.
    I watch….
    Witness milestone:
    Little dark-haired gal,
    Solo flight on bicycle.
    Dad holding wobbly bike,
    Daughter gingerly picking up speed.
    Dad’s feet moving with daughter’s…
    Feet peddling faster;
    Hands releasing;
    by little….
    Letting go!
    Triumphant echo of words,
    Resounding in crisp fall air,
    Echoing down street…..
    “Look at us, Daddy. Look at us!”
    Exclamation of independence.
    Clapping, cheering, exclaiming, exalting.
    Dad and daughter;
    Together and dividing;
    Life….its circuitous cycle.
    Hanging on; Letting go.
    Captivating, invigorating, liberating….

    God the Father
    Sufficient; Omniscient.
    Divine Deity,
    Creator of heaven and earth,
    Ruler of kings, authorities, and powers.
    Maker of life; giver of breath.
    Holding wobbly bikes….
    with Holy hands.

    Frail, fickle sons and daughters,
    Performing Kingdom works.
    God the Father
    Letting go ….
    Letting humans be human.
    Merciful, compassionate, demonstrative.
    Great High Priest
    Holy risk-taker.
    Loving, forgiving, righteous, perfect.
    Ought not children of the King,
    Echo the voice of the child…..
    Triumphant exaltation; exclamation!
    Christ redeems,
    Sets free…..

    Oh for the voice of a child…
    Bearing witness to the grace of the King.
    Earnestly proclaiming....
    Christ captivates, invigorates, liberates!
    Experience the grace of the King.
    He's worthy of all that you bring.
    “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name.
    Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.”
    Psalm 103:1-2


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    Provision, God's provision,
    God's abundant daily grace;
    Incites you and invites you,
    Come and see ... and take a taste.

    A table sits before you,
    Drink and dine and eat the best;
    And liberally He'll fill you,
    When you enter as His guest.

    He will give you bread from heaven,
    Holy manna, honey sweet;
    He will fill the one who hungers,
    And provide him food to eat.

    You are welcome at His table,
    You have been assigned a place;
    Are you eating, truly feeding,
    On abundant, daily grace?

    "O taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusteth in Him."
    Psalm 34:8


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    My heart is illumined,
    My eye clearly sees;
    That clarity parallels,
    Time on my knees.

    "Call unto Me and I will answer thee; and show thee great and mighty things,
    which thou knowest not."
    Jeremiah 33:3


    By: Darrelyn L. Tutt

    Push the rewind button ten years back.
    Going for a visit to see my father,
    North woods of northern Minnesota;
    Land of a thousand lakes; host to an unlimited fishing supply.
    Suitcases brought in; fishing lines come out.
    Still a few hours left of evening.
    Small fishing trio; My father, son Joshua, and myself.
    We scan the familiar lake;
    Silently identify our individual fishing posts;
    go our separate ways.
    Drop my line in.
    My Father can’t help himself ….
    Approaches me with unsolicited advice.
    “Move anywhere but …. move on.
    Unsuitable fishing, wasting time.”
    Bother …
    Note of mutual irritability silently exchanged between us.
    Remain intent on my humble fishing base.
    Cast out my line again aimlessly,
    enjoying peaceful evening.
    Content, cool, quiet.
    A serious jerk on my line….
    Caught off guard.
    Almost lose my rod.
    Give a little unexpected shout.
    Dad and Joshua hear me over the water … come running.
    Northern on the other end;
    Able fighter, strong, healthy, challenging.
    Battle ensues.
    Dad giving directives, Joshua holding net,
    fully engaged;
    He’s mine,
    A beauty!
    Joshua, seasoned fisherman, equipped with large tackle box,
    countless fishing lures,
    excellent knowledge and understanding.
    Muttering under his breath,
    Pretty much is.
    Dad is proud; forgets previous reprimand,
    Revising history in notable way.
    Takes my Northern to main office for weigh-in.
    Who would’ve guessed;
    Biggest catch of season this particular lake.
    An unseasoned individual, an unlikely place
    Amazing catch!
    Won’t mention size of fish.
    Just know it beats the size of yours by an ounce and an inch!
    Fun evening.
    Internally amused as I watch my father and Joshua,
    Retire from their chosen stations.
    Select an environment nearer me …
    and akin to mine.
    And the point made:
    Sometimes God takes us by surprise.
    when we least expect it,
    least deserve it
    God does a God thing in our ordinary day.
    Sends a big fish our way, some form,
    temporarily jars us from routine.
    Invites us to experience the extraordinary:
    -Moses and the burning bush.
    -David’s call from the sheepfold.
    -Elizabeth's fortified womb.
    -Mary’s call to carry the Christ.

    God doesn’t do marvelous things because we’re marvelous people.
    He does marvelous things because He’s a marvelous God.
    Doesn’t need a big tackle box or equipped individuals.
    Gives the biggest catch of the day sometimes…
    to the unqualified,
    He does God-like things to “ungodly” like people;
    Just because He’s God.
    “Now unto Him that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us.”
    Ephesians 3:20

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